A Reverts Story (How I became Muslim) of brother Amir Michael Khalil

944804_541153069271623_1739729725_nBismillaher Rahmaner Rahim,

Well it all started for me in 1987, the year I was born. My mother was in a very abusive relationship with my father and things got so bad she would often have to flee with me many nights to save her life and mine. My father would beat my mother everyday and night, he was a crazed man who abused alcohol. My mother has told me it was a miracle how she survived to give birth to me. She made it and on September 18th, 1987, at St. Joseph hospital, Milwaukee, Wi. I was born.

My mother struggled to raise me, my father never would help. She would often have to hold down three jobs just to put some food on the table. He continued to abuse, and terrorize my mother and us. He was a crazy man. My mothers father, my grandpa, who is normally a calm man, was so enraged he wanted to kill my father. But he was so scared he would hide. Hecould hit a woman but was too scared to fight a man.

It came to be that my mother started to abuse crack cocaine. This was in the late 80s and early 90s when crack hit the inner city’s and took over. Milwaukee was one of the main city’s hit by the epidemic and my mother fell into the trap. Now not only was my mother running away from a crazy man who would beat her to within inches of her life, but she now struggled with drug addiction. When i was 5 years old she met a man who would later become my step-father. Even tho he did drugs too, he helped financially and he protected my mom and me from my father. It came about that the line was drawn and my father wasn’t allowed to see me again. I’ve never seen him since.248557_177298562323744_1037830_n

Unfortunately, drugs were too much for the both of them and they could no longer raise and support me. Luckily my grandparents were willing to take me in there home. So at the age of six my grandparents received full custody of me. I moved in with them in Brookfield, Wi a suburb of Milwaukee, Wi just outside of the big city. This was a very difficult time for me in my life as i could not understand what was going on and why i couldn’t live with my mom. Everyone seemed to have abandoned me and I would cry at night and ask why this was happening. My grandparents and my family wouldn’t tell me what was really happening with my mom so I was confused.

At night my grandpa would read story’s of Jesus to me until i fell asleep in my bed. This was my first introduction to religion. Even as a child though i questioned how God could be hung from a cross and how could God die. I didn’t believe in the religion of Christianity but eventually i was baptized. At dinner we would always recite a prayer in Jesus name. I would not want to say it but my grandparents would force me to. I didn’t believe that Jesus was God and really at that point in my life i didn’t believe in God at all. I would cry out for someone to help me but no one did. I was confused, hurt, and struck with grief and no one came to my comfort. The times we went to church i could count on one hand, but we would go to the Christmas ceremony every year with the other members of my family. I still did not believe in the Christian religon or any God at that point.

As i mentioned before my grandparents were very strict. They were like army sergeants. Any disobedience and I would be quickly disciplined which was almost always a slap in my face and beating on my behind. It became abusive and I was beat everyday and night. I had no freedom. I didn’t even have the freedom to choose my own words on my homework assignments. I was forced to play every single sport, although i like Basketball, Football and Baseball.

I ended up staying with my grandparents well past my middle school years. Till about the age of 13. My mother had moved to California with my step-dad when i was 8. I couldn’t stand living with my grandparents anymore. Every night i was hit, beaten, and mentally abused. I was told my mother didn’t love me that no one did and I was going to turn out just like my mother. It was too much for me to take. I called my mother and I told her that i was going to run away from my grandparents. I explained to her what was going on and she came back to Wisconsin with my step-dad to have me live with her.

So, at the age of 14 i began my high school years with my mother in Milwaukee, Wi. I had freedom. My mother basically let me do whatever i wanted. I was finally reunited with my mother and it was the happiest time of my life. I had so much fun. I did well my freshman year and i made good grades. I played on our schools football team but unfortunately, when i tried out for out basketball team i showed up a hour and a half late to the last tryout. As a result I did not make the team and I was devestated. I had always played sports every season i would play football, basketball, and baseball. I played on all the All-Star baseball teams and I played in an AAU league for basketball and it was one of my favorite sports. When i did not make the team i was really down. My life quickly spiraled out of control.

I started to not care about school anymore. My grades started to drop and eventually I started to hang around the wrong crowd. My friends in high-school became the gang members, drug dealers, and people who liked to party. I started to smoke weed and drink by my sophomore year, age 15. My 3 best friends in high school were gang members and we would always hang out and party every single day. We also did a lot of criminal things together and i was eventually put on juvenile probation for throwing a brick through someones window that ripped me off in a drug deal, and extensive fighting in school. We would rob anyone for money and terrorize the neighborhood.

I was headed down the wrong path in life. Two of my friends Anthony and Dale were part of the Black Stones gang from Chicago. There leader was an older guy named Wu. So eventually i met Wu and we all started to hang out. We made a studio in my room so we would make rap music, drink, and smoke weed. Wu was very smart even tho he was a gang leader. He would always talk about Allah, the Bible, the Quran, and history. He would also discipline us if we did not do well in school. He would always teach us about Allah and wanted to take us to the mosque. He always emphasized principles to implement into our life like justice, education, and staying loyal to one another.

This was my first introduction at the age of 15 to anything having to do with Islam. I looked up to Wu a lot and so naturally i became curious about Allah. He explained that our main goal being a Black Stone in life was to see the Black stone, the Kabbah, to make it there. His teachings about knowledge, wisdom, understanding and such really stuck with me throughout my years. I also remember him pointing to my bible in my house and telling me if you read that book it will change your life. So i became interested in religion from that point on.

Throughout my high school years i continued to hang around the wrong crowd. I us-to fight a lot in school and i became popular in school even tho i would loose most of the time. But i gained a lot of friends. My friends and I would do a lot of stupid things that got me into a lot of trouble. When we got drunk and high we would go through peoples cars in parking lots and steal whatever we could. One night after getting high and drunk with one of my friends we went to a bowling ally to go through some cars and see what we could get. Inside one of the cars in the glove compartment box we found the keys, so me and my friend stole the car.

We had the car for about a week and we would drive everywhere even to our school. One day the teacher over heard our conversation and decided to call my mom and tell her what i did. When my mom found out she called the police and I was arrested and put in adult prison. I was tried as an adult and found guilty of a class H felony, driving without owners consent, and put on 4 years of adult supervision.

During my time in jail though which was about 6 months waiting to get my case heard i picked up the bible and read the whole thing. I remember what Wu told me about how it would change my life. I really liked the bible and found the guidance that i needed and i became a Christian and started to pray to Jesus every single night.

When i got out of jail things were different. I no longer went to school anymore because i had completed my HSED(High School Equivalency Diploma) while incarcerated. One of the rules of my supervision stated that i could not live with my mother anymore because they deemed it an unsuitable environment for me. I also had to stay clean from drugs. This really crushed me about not being able to live with my mom. It was like being separated from my mother again. They stuck me all over in the worst parts of the city and i started to drink and smoke weed everyday. I could keep clean for nothing. I would always fail my drug tests and my probation officer got sick of it. He put me in a halfway house where i had to be clean otherwise they would put me in jail.

I ended up getting a job and getting my own place. But as soon as I got out that halfway house i ended up smoking weed again and my probation officer got sick of me and locked me up. He sent me to a boot-camp for 6 months instead of having to do all my time in prison.

While incarcerated waiting for boot-camp i always us-to go to these little church meetings where a guest would come and preach to us. It was a way of getting out my cell and plus i really enjoyed reading the bible. I found wisdom and I liked reading about Jesus in the New testament.

One day I met a Muslim brother and when he talked he reminded me a lot like my friend Wu. He talked about the need to become knowledgeable and to stand up for justice. He was very smart and seemed to have all the answers about life. One day he asked me a question he said. Do you know what Allah means. I kind of had an idea about Allah but I didn’t know much. I said no not really. He then showed me a part of an Arabic bible that Christians read in the middle east. He pointed to a passage and said look. I read the word Allah. He then said see Allah is just Arabic for God. Even the Christians in the middle east call God, Allah just like the Spanish call him Dios. My eys opened up and i was surprise. I never knew that. I thought Allah was a totally different God the Arabs prayed to. He told me Allah translated in English meant One God. He pointed out to me in the bible where God said to worship him alone and not to associate any partners with him. He then pointed out how the Christians of today have made God into three parts the son, the holy spirit, and God. Yet they claim to worship one God. He asked me how can one plus one plus one equal one. He got me there! He then asked me so who is God according to you? Jesus? He then asked me to show him in the bible where Jesus said to worship him as God. I couldn’t find anything in the bible as such. He told me just to think about that.

Every day we would talk and he would open up my eyes a little more and more. He told me one day that Allah/God is the creator of everything in the Universe the beginning and the end. He dosn’t die. He dosn’t have a son because to have a son would mean he would have to be part of his creation in being man and he was above bis creation being the creator. Everything this brother was telling me felt like a confirmation of what i always held to be the truth, I just could never completely find it before even tho I had come close in Christianity and the teachings of my friend Wu. He pointed out do you really want to worship a man who people are saying is God and died. He said do you want to worship a God that died. And do you really believe a man can die for your sins. He told me no brother the only person who can forgive you for your sins is Allah/God.

He then read a chapter of the Quran that really struck me and confirmed everything I’ve ever believed. It just made sense. It was Surah/Chapter Ihklas and it reads like this. 1. Say: He is Allah, the One and Only; 2. Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; 3. He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; 4. And there is none like unto Him.

So everyday he would teach me a lot and show me many contradictions in the Bible. Then one day he gave me a biography of the Prophet Muhammad and told me to read it. It was called Muhammad by Martin Lings. I loved the book and I was taken back by his amazing story and how everything was cited with facts. Not like the bible that was just a bunch of storys. This was actual history and facts. I thanked the brother so much and i told him this was the most amazing man I had ever read about. He would answer the questions i had and i was amazed at how smart he was. He also told me that I was closer to him then his blood brothers and i had nothing to worry about while being locked up. Allah was looking after me and he also had my back. Next he gave me a Quran with commentary. I read that and i was humbled and filled with fear of Allah and hell. After I read the Quran the Muslim brother asked me if i was ready to become Muslim. I said i wanted to wait. I was a little worried. He then asked me brother why are you praying to Jesus when you can pray to God. He told me why go to the middle man when you can go straight to the man. I could no longer pray to Jesus anymore. I just didn’t feel right praying to Jesus when i could pray directly to Allah/God.

A few days later i ended up taking my shahadah which is saying in front of the Muslim community or group and believing in your heart that Allah is one and has no partners and that Muhammad is his last and final messenger. I’ve been Muslim ever since that year in 2004. Alhamdulilah(All praise do to allah).

 

this brother’s blog,

http://arevertsstory.blogspot.com/

and a reminder ..

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2 thoughts on “A Reverts Story (How I became Muslim) of brother Amir Michael Khalil

  1. Alhamdulillah!!
    You hav eanother brother in Denver, CO as well!
    May Allah constantly turn your heart to Him in Praise and Worship to Him and may Allah (SWT) allow you to die upon Islam!
    Remember this: Surah Ihklas (my favorite Surah in the Quran as well!!) is about Tawheed: Allah’s Oneness

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