Creeping into my Thoughts


We all long for companionship, someone we can turn to in our times of need. The times we need uplifting, for advice and for laughter. It seeps beneath our skin to the deepest level and becomes almost a necessity. Eventually, we think we have found this connection, so we hang onto them. We cling to them with every ounce of us but eventually, no matter how hard we try, how much kindness and support we give, they more than likely leave.

Fake promises, words of an illusion. We twist and turn, we break our backs for those who often wouldn’t even bat an eyelid of gratitude. They step on us, and we crumble to pieces.

Afterwards, we then enter a state of vulnerability. We had began to trust these people, we had opened ourselves up, blossomed with their presence and suddenly, they have vanished. All you wanted was security, someone to befriend, yet they have taken a part of you with them. All of your rawest emotions and your deepest feelings, in the blink of an eye, they are gone with the wind.

Overtime, the repetition of this cycle becomes mentally exhausting. It feels like time after time you have blossomed into a thriving tree, but winter arrives and it batters you. It rips all of your leaves, it snaps your branches and you have to start all over again. Rebuilding yourself.

I tell myself I will not fall victim again, but I do. Time and time again. And then I ask myself, everything is temporary, how do you keep up a life of illusion?

Simply, my answer was to rely on the One who will run towards me if I walk towards Him. Lean on Him swt for support, for guidance. Use the Holy Quran as a healing tool and find your inner self, feed your soul of what it has been starved. Give your love, your soul and your energy to The Creator instead of the creation.

If only we would realise that some people are just passing by. They have taught us lessons and more about ourselves, but eventually they have to leave to explore a path that we cannot accompany them on. We are of no benefit to each other anymore, we were just briefly crossing paths.

We do not know the plan of The Protector, but Allah swt the creator of this whole universe knows it is for the best. If only we could see, if only we had patience.

by sister