Salam alaikum warahmatullah
I Found Allah!
I was always Catholic. My mom, to this day, is devout in her faith, and growing up, I never missed a day of church. She always took care to remind me that the Catholic faith was the best faith in the world, and that there was no religion more fulfilling.
But even with my faith, for the past three years or so, I’ve been struggling a lot. I’ve been depressed, self-harming, and inching closer to the brink of suicide every day. I’ve felt so alone.
Now, for a while, I’ve also been growing increasingly aware of Islam, and I’ve been trying to learn about it as much as I can (while keeping it hidden from my mother). Once I let Islam into my life, things started slowly making more sense.
And today, everything changed.
Tonight before bed, I came home feeling particularly lonely. I was at the end of my rope. Yet something moved me to kneel down in my room, put my forehead to the ground, and prayed to Allah.
I spoke to Him, and suddenly I opened up, and I cried my heart out to Him… I asked Him, “Why am I alone? Why do I feel so unwanted and unloved by everyone around me?”
I begged Him to show me the right path, and then, clear as day, I knew the answer. I knew the reason for my suffering. He allowed loneliness to enter my life so that I would turn to Him. He (subhanahu wa ta’ala) needed to show me that no matter how alone I felt, He would always be there, pouring His Love down on me. All of a sudden, my tears stopped flowing. I wasn’t in pain anymore.
Once I surrendered to Him all the pain i was carrying around in my heart, He filled it with His Love.
I know now, in my heart, that I belong to Allah.
I don’t know how or where to start this journey in faith, so In sha’Allah, the wonderful community on this page can support me, and help me grow and learn.